by Esther Davis-Thompson
Moving Forward

The Amazing Power of Solitude: 7 Good Reasons to Take a Break

SolitudeWhy do so many of us flock to retreat centers?

Why do we daydream about taking off for a weekend to a humble little cabin near the water… just Self and a good book?

Why do we yearn for just a little space of time to write or to paint or to create? Is it because we instinctively know that having some alone-time is the only way to re-glue our scattered fragments of Self? Could it be that sitting in solitude is the only way we can re-connect with our all-wise Inner Woman… to find out what she has to say?

If you’ve been looking for a way to harness your personal power, tap into your potential, unearth your deepest passions, and create a straighter path to your goals, it may be as simple as setting aside short segments of time to spend with your Self and your thoughts. Your time – with no one else in your soul-space. Time away from the heavy traffic of your daily realities. Self-gathering time. Time to view what’s going on inside you, and time to set it all straight. Thinking. Daydreaming. Imagining. Creating. Planning. Assigning new perspectives to your life-experiences. Organizing your mind. Focusing your thoughts, like a powerful laser, to alter and re-create your circumstances.

Nearly every woman I know is on a major mission – raising children or helping with grandchildren, partnering in a major relationship, creating and maintaining homes, careers, businesses… working in the church, the community… possibly all of the above. We are constantly moving and doing, yet, many of us carry around a little mental cache of important things to do that we never seem to get to.  Usually it’s our things.

The big dilemma: we are all very busy, yet, we all need more personal time. No matter what our daily occupation, whether it’s work outside the home or work inside the home, the prescribed nature of our womanhood is giving, nurturing and creating. Giving birth to the new, and then sustaining what we’ve given birth to… from the heart …from within our inner spaces. Regular periods of solitude, even very short ones,  can help us to keep our inner spaces clear, whole and healthy, giving us the opportunity to become aware of what’s truly most important for us, and enabling us to be more productive.

Gaining control of our lives starts on the inside. Even short periods of time alone create a zone where we can stop and think about the direction our present actions are moving us in, and to pull ourselves back on track, when we need to. Solitude puts us in touch with our inner drives and truths and convictions, and increases our personal power by leaving us with a more-organized, calmer mind-life, (as opposed to the dark and dangerous undercurrents that sometimes keep us rocking in our inner spaces and in our outer actions). Achieving a more aware state of mind makes all the difference in how we take what’s inside us and create our reality.

After just a few sessions of sitting alone with no one else in your soul-space, here’s what you’ll discover-

Solitude is the best way to clear a weary mind …
A weary mind can’t think clearly, solve problems, make plans or communicate well with others. A weary mind needs nothing as much as it needs an absence of input – from outside Self. Alone with our thoughts, we actually get to think through our situations. When we are alone we can come up with some outlandishly creative solutions to some of the situations in our lives.

Solitude is a worthy Rx for self-healing…
When we choose to carve out a segment of time to purposefully deal with our feelings, we allow our thoughts to progress naturally toward healing. Away from the demands of response and reaction we are free to experience our emotions, and to distance ourselves from the fear of being hurt that can make us feel like victims, and from seeing others as having more power over our lives than we ourselves do. In our private zone, we can allow a new compassion for the other players in our life dramas. And, forgiveness can take place. Emotional healing requires that we form new perspectives about the things that have happened to us. Changing the quality of our thoughts can only happen when we take the time and space to become aware of our thoughts… aware of their origins… aware of the effect they are having on our lives and aware of how our thoughts are making us feel… minute to minute… day to day….and from action to action.Your spirit’s wisdom can emerge and expand unhindered when you sit alone, with no one else in your soul-space… In the absence of other voices, our personal wisdom can emerge and we can come to a place of arriving at our own best perspectives of our life experiences.

Solitude is essential for planning your next important steps in your life journey.
The strength and courage that precede positive action are born only when we have given ourselves the opportunity to fully feel out and project ourselves into a given situation. Claiming the time to examine our lives enables us to see exactly what actions are required of us in order to be who we truly are, from the inside out.

New passions are often born in solitude. When we give our Inner Woman the opportunity to reveal our most compelling reasons for being, we are suddenly revitalized, and made ready to use our gifts to strike out in new directions of being. In your solitude you can begin to assume a new mind-set and to pre-create whatever it is you love to create. As you tune into yourself and hear what your Inner Woman is thinking about, and get a glimpse of what she is trying to accomplish in your life and where she is taking you, your Spirit-Given Agenda becomes clear, and you will find yourself walking a better path and planning better projects, with greater clarity.Focusing our thoughts on a particular situation or project can lead us directly to the solutions that have kept escaping us. Nothing ever gets accomplished unless we have focused our thoughts, our energies and our intentions… integrating them and causing them to work together to carry out our desires.

New clarity will come when we clear a space for it in our fields of time and awareness. Our solitude is mind-clearing and can open us to a new awareness of all aspects of our life, and allow us to discover what, in our life, matters most to us.

True gratitude is more easily experienced in our solitude. We can only fully see the miraculous strains in our lives and experience our blessings with true, unforced gratitude when we can sit quietly to ponder the things that are taking place in our lives.

Each woman’s power comes to her in ways as elusive as the wind… comes effectively only through calmed and cleared channels of consciousness, riding on spiritual waves that won’t respond to our crude erratic thrusts into our minds looking for solutions to our problems. When we create a habit of sitting in quiet and clarity, pushing all of our fears and unbelief, distractions to the side for just a little while, we can look ahead through a corridor of affirmation and get a glimpse of who we really are and what we can really do. We begin to believe that we really will find our way to the place we need to be.

Solitude offers us serenity. A time of stepping away from confusion and chaos, into order and peace. Imagine this: You are sitting in a warm tub of lavender scented bubbles. Your eyes are closed as you rest your head and shoulders against a soft pillow. Your children are in bed for the night, and everything and everyone else in your life has been put on hold while you take the time to do absolutely nothing but spend some time listening to your own thoughts and communing with your Creator.

…white tapers blink star-like from the corners of your tub, and the whole room is blanketed in their soft glow and the scent of lavender water.

…you can feel the tension in your back melting

…you can feel your breathing become slower, deeper and more even

…the muscles in your face are beginning to relax

…and, as you close your eyes, you can feel yourself becoming more centered… more at peace… and more whole…

You can do solitude any way that suits you. You can do it any way and anywhere you want. But, as our lives and our relationships become more and more complex, and the world keeps producing more and more gadgets, gizmos and reasons for us to stay busy… a wise woman will make it a point to recharge herself.

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