by Esther Davis-Thompson
Re-Inventing Your MotherSpace


This post and the next few posts will be about Motherhood … excerpts from Reinventing Your MotherSpace: creating a Good and blessed future For Our Children —

… This is a Work book. This book is about our trying to do some serious Work on ourselves, in the spirit, for our children.

Once, we knew only the space of our Selfhood. (Can you remember when your main preoccupation was with your Self?) But, now we have also the space of our motherhood to be concerned with—the MotherSpace within ourselves. Every wish we wish, every hope we hope, every tear we cry, every fear we experience, every thought we think regarding our children, all emerge from within the substance we hold in this MotherSpace. The MotherSpace is a subconscious entity. We do not, often, ponder our reactions and responses. We seldom stop to think how what we have just said sounds to our children, feels to their feelings, how it may imprint them and what it says about our philosophies of life, or what emotion we’re being ruled by, right at that time. We simply react and reply as our Inner Mother Self tells us to, based on who we are and where we’ve been and what our perceptions are.

The MotherSpace is a unique space. A certain brand of love is evoked in this space. A particular level of abandonment to the MotherSpace is required. Motherhood is not, as we have been misguided into thinking, about producing perfect children. Motherhood is being the sometimes-willing vessel via which our children will learn many of their spiritual lessons.

The MotherSpace is a spiritual space. Whatever spiritual knowledge we are actively knowing colors this space. If we are open to Wisdom, we will be able to serve as instructors and guides, supporters and encouragers to our children. With our Faith, we will be able to withstand the blows to our hearts and our heads—and all of the heat and pressure that are inherent in the mother-role. If we are void of these spiritual things, we can only, at best, initiate frenzied and inconsistent attempts at raising our children and guiding them through the muddle of this life.

MotherLove is what flows from the MotherSpace.

Whatever flows from the MotherSpace is MotherLove—good or bad—and MotherLove is the psycho-emotional/spiritual food we feed our children.

We owe it to our children to find out what we’re harboring in the MotherSpace. What thoughts prevail? What fears? What shames? What guilts? What beauty? What ugliness? What hates? What inhibitions? What idiosyncrasies? What losses? At what costs? Who are we not forgiving? Who are we loving? What have we lost that we needed? What powers have we given away? Who hurt us? When? Where did this tender spot come from? That particular anger? That wish? That strand of Faith? That precious bit of boldness?  

Peace can’t exist in a battle.

Joy can’t dwell in a sad head or a sad heart. If your head is a battleground of conflicting thoughts and negativity, you can’t experience Peace. And if your heart is bitter or broken—if your heart is a sad space where old unresolved problems and failed relationships and unforgiveness sit festering—you can’t know Joy. Faith can’t dwell where you allow fear to prevail. Hope can’t dwell where despair is established and honored. Love fails when you spend yourself nurturing your angers, hurts, and fears. All of these contaminate the MotherSpace. And from the tainted MotherSpace flows toxic MotherLove.

Walk around inside your MotherSpace and look at the tear stains and the laugh lines on the wall and re-experience them. Only then will you realize that the MotherSpace is really a growth, a subtle enlargement, no different in quality, in atmosphere, in texture, in substance, from your space of Self. And it is yourself that you must be concerned with, as well as your children.

One sure way to find out what’s brewing in that stewpot inside you is to become a mother. The Joy, the Faith, the Hope, the Creativity, the Love, that you have stored inside you shine out of your MotherSpace with a brilliance that can penetrate and heal your world. But, so too have all of your past pains and fears and angers and sorrows taken root in you and inadvertently made their way into your MotherSpace. How sad to find out that just when your child needs your Faith . . . you’re full of hopelessness. Just when she needs some tender Love . . . you’re afraid to give it. Just when you need to use a firm hand . . . you can’t get your ownself together. You may need some courage . . . but you’re full of fear. The substance of our MotherSpace is rooted in the past, but it must be evaluated and worked on in the present.

So, we have a special Work to do. We have, for much too long, been hobbled, crippled by our society’s fears and obsessions and imaginings. We have used our heads and our hearts. We’ve gone the way of higher blood pressure, bleeding ulcers, overwhelming anxiety, extra-neous panic and intense fear and emotional strain trying to fix ourselves and our families. Our spirits have been sitting by waiting.

We really do not have to struggle so.

We have to start running headlong into the Spirit for the only safe vehicle to carry us, and our children, into the future. Now, more than ever, our children need a strong, positive, unshakable self-image. We ourselves need a strong, positive, unshakable self-image to be able to Help them. Now, more than ever, they must be fed a daily diet of Hope, Faith, Courage, Peace, Lovingkindness, Joy, and Gratitude. And we must feed ourselves a daily diet of Hope, Faith, Courage, Peace, Lovingkindness, Joy, and Gratitude, if this is what we want to give out. We must purposely fill our MotherSpaces with pure positivity. We must challenge every negative tendency we have in us and recognize it for the harm it can do our children. We cannot possibly parent with the fear of our worst expectations foremost in our minds. We have to alter our old beliefs to fit our new positive hopes and move on from there.

Our children will survive.

We must believe this.

Our sons and daughters will not continue to die on street corners or on our porches from drive-by shootings.

We must believe this.

We will not keep burying our young.

We must believe this.

Our children will know success.

We must believe this.

Our children will learn, not only to read and write well, to calculate and analyze, but to think well and ponder well.

We must believe this.

Our children will daydream. Our daughters and our sons will envision. They will walk strong to their High Places.

And we must believe.

Come, let us reason together. How can we grow our children strong? Grow our daughters like beautiful sunflowers, worthy and wonderful, with faces full of sun! Grow our sons like sturdy oaks with the bendability of willows—able to catch the wind, withstand, and ride. Daughters and sons walking in the Wisdom of the Spirit.

We shall teach them Love songs. And Praise songs. And War songs. And Peace songs. We shall worship with them. We shall preach to them. We shall pray to God with them.

We shall praise their good efforts. We shall lay hands on them. We shall pat their heads and pinch their cheeks and kiss their cheeks. We shall look them in the eye. We shall stroke and purr like loving mother cats. We shall bat at the enemy forces like brazen mama lionesses. We shall breathe Hope into them with our words. We shall speak Tenderness. We shall Chide and Admonish. We shall Reason. We shall Demand and Command. We shall be Patient. We shall have Faith that it is time.

I say it is time. It is time to sound the horn, calling forth this new generation of royalty.

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