by Esther Davis-Thompson
Moving Forward Raising Up Queens


We swim, daily, in whatever feelings we are having. Stroking, floating, treading steadily through them, we try to go about our lives. And sometimes, if we aren’t mindful and prayerful about what’s going on inside of us, we can get stuck in some negative spaces and stay there much too long.

What if you were abused, emotionally or physically, as a young child? If you spend your days stuck in the pain of those experiences, you will be abused, continuously, every day of your life for the rest of your life, or until your mind takes drastic (and probably negative) measures to relieve you of this trauma.

What if you had your first child when you were fourteen, and you cannot recover from the shame they made you feel? Will you spend the rest of your life concentrating on finding the best ways to hide yourself? Your dreams will not get much of your attention that way. In fact, by now you may have denied yourself the privilege of ever dreaming again.

What if you didn’t finish high school, or college, or the master’s program, and now your eyes fill with tears whenever you attend a graduation, and you feel as if everyone in the world knows and thinks you’re not smart enough? Will you walk around for the rest of your life feeling like you’ve cheated yourself, denying your natural desire to learn new things and to accomplish some things . . . working at jobs below your potential and maybe struggling financially?

It’s how you handle your pains and disappointments that will determine whether or not you will move toward your High Places. Too often we make our pain our familiar, our favorite preoccupation, our most common and comfortable thing to think about. We carry it around in our minds and wrap it around us like a tattered old security blanket that makes us reek of hopelessness and chokes off every single dream we ever hoped to have.

Get ready . . . to jump over that part of yourself that’s attached to this pain. Jump! Cease meditating on your pain and begin to meditate on the path.

From Raising Up Queens: Loving Our Daughters Loud and Strong, 2000 Innisfree Press, Inc., copyright Esther Davis-Thompson

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