by Esther Davis-Thompson
From Trouble to High Places WomanSpace Self-Questions

Should you shed some of your “shoulds”?

I’ll bet your womanspace is harboring more than a few superficial values. I know mine was. Our superficial values are not true functions of our authentic-value systems. They don’t really support our spirit-given agendas, and they don’t line up with our true-Self. They are our acquired values – either acquired from the beliefs of others or acquired by way of our own incorrect beliefs about ourselves. In any case, they are just veneer. Not part of the true substance of us…these pseudo values just take up focus and energy in the womanspace, and probably in our lives.

Let’s start with the Shoulds. Our shoulds grew from seeds planted in our childhood psyche by our significant people. We should be this way or that way, we were told. So, these shoulds translated in our lives as behaviors that we felt obligated to perform, often leading us into situations we came to resent. Yet we continued to perform them. Why? Because, of course, at some time during our lives we began to sincerely believe that we should.

Think about the things you do that seem to deplete your energy, usurp your power, and make you feel kind of sad and lethargic. Do you continue to do those things because you see true value in the doing of them? Or because you’ve somehow come to believe the notion that you would be a bad person if you didn’t?


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